Beyond the Elevator Pitch (comic relief)

The concept of the elevator pitch combines an elevator situation, i.e., a scenario where someone has only a few seconds to go from one floor to another, with a sales pitch, i.e., the argument, formula, or presentation used to offer a product. The elevator pitch, then, is that 30- to 60-second presentation we make of ourselves, normally in the context of business meetings, networking, or employment interviews.

A lot has been written on how to prepare a good elevator pitch. The original elevator pitch assumes an office environment, and that is why an elevator is usually used as the most common "chance meeting" place. But for comic relief's sake, let us consider the multiple scenarios where the pitch may take place. For instance, how about the construction industry? What if we are working on a scaffold on the 30th floor and the chief engineer just hops on to check out the structure? What if we moonlight as a limousine driver and we are on the highway giving the big boss a ride to the airport? What if we are a Customer Satisfaction Specialist at a McDonald's counter and one of the hot shots in the company next door stops by for a Big 'n Tasty? What kind of considerations may affect the way we deliver the pitch (in a positive or negative way) as influenced by the circumstances?

Here is a (tongue-in-cheek) list:

1- The Barbershop Pitch:
         It gets undivided attention if you are the barber (after all, you are holding a razor to their necks).

2- The Staircase Pitch:
         It includes lots of gasping and panting.

3- The Parking Lot Pitch:
         It goes around in circles, looking for a spot for that punch line.

4- The Scaffold Pitch:
         Each sentence could be the last one (you are suspended high in the air, watch out).
         Note: don't look down.

5- The Men's Room Pitch:
         . . . . . . . . . . . .
         Note: really, if you do it, don't look down.

6- The Men's Room Pitch Version 2:
         . . . . . . . . . . . .
         Note: just don't do it, wait until the other person is done.

7- The Highway Pitch:
         "Am I hired yet? Am I hired yet? Am I hired yet?"

8- The Highway Pitch During Rush Hour:
         It includes lots of starts and stops.

9- The Highway Pitch During Rush Hour with Road Rage:
         It is interspersed with epithets directed towards other drivers.

10- The Highway Pitch During Rush Hour with Road Rage Where Guns Are Involved:
         It includes frequent opportunities for ducking to avoid bullets from irate drivers.

11- The Bus Stop Pitch:
         It is delivered with infinite patience and resignation.

12- The Informal Lunch Pitch:
         It excludes words that start with P (sPitting out your food is gross!).

13- The Water Cooler Pitch:
         It is measured in sips, not seconds.

14- The Coffee Machine Pitch:
         It is delivered with two creams, one sugar.

15- The McDonald's Pitch:
         It is always delivered with fries.

16- The Taco Bell Pitch:
         It can be delivered in a soft or a crunchy shell.

17- The KFC Pitch:
         It is divided into pieces and delivered in a family-size bucket.

18- The Tim Horton's Pitch:
         Every other sentence in the pitch ends with "Eh?".

19- The New York City Pitch:
         "Forget about it."

20- The Traditional, Good Old "30-second" Elevator Pitch:
         It opens with a hook, followed by a summary of soft skills, highlight of achievements, short list of hard skills, and a memorable ending.


If you think of any other situations where a pitch may be delivered in a specific way, share those thoughts with the rest of us in the Comments section.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Feel free to share and use this list. If you do, please give us proper credit.

Marathon Training and Your Career Path

On how ICT Bob and his literary Alter Ego, George Louis, discussed the process of marathon training as a symbolic representation of a career path.

Bob: "Dude, these stats are coming up nicely."

George Louis: "Do you mean your running stats, my dear colleague?"

Bob: "Yeah, I started running 200 mts. and being out of air, panting and gasping. Now I'm up to a full kilometer and still feeling ok."

George Louis: "Nicely done. And how did you get to that point, if I may ask?"

Bob: "Well, see, before I was just running, trying to do it for as long as I could. But then I read some stuff online, and apparently there's a method to it."

George Louis: "Hm. So you would say you organized your running activities to do it in a more systematic way, with a general goal in mind?"

Bob: "Yeah, well, I guess that's another way to put it. The thing seems to be that, instead of running once until you are exhausted, you have to do a "walk-run-walk" kind of thing. And it seems to pay off."

George Louis: "Would you care to elaborate, my friend?"

Bob: "It's like, you walk for four minutes to warm up, then jog for 60 seconds, then walk for 90 seconds. Then you repeat that 60 secs. / 90 secs. set five or six times."

George Louis: "I see. So you set shorter objectives that you would be able to accomplish."

Bob: "That's right. Then, the following week, or two weeks later, you jog for 90 seconds and walk for 120 seconds. And your repeat that set five or six times."

George Louis: "So you increase your levels of difficulty, taking on more challenging routines."

Bob: "Exactly. Eventually, you are moving up to your intermediate goal, which is 20-30 minutes non-stop."

George Louis: "Interesting. So you are basically building towards your ultimate goal, a marathon, by accomplishing small objectives, increasing the challenges, and conquering those new challenges too."

Bob: "You got it."

George Louis: "Just like your career."

Bob: "What do you mean?"

George Louis: "Well, in our professional careers, we rarely get our dream job right out of school, or right after professional training. What we do is we look at where we are, and where we would like to be. Then we identify what we need to do to get there. With that in mind, we set small objectives, accomplish them, take on new challenges, prove ourselves, all the while keeping focused on that ultimate goal, which is our dream job. Throughout all that time, our perseverance, commitment, and dedication help us keep to our planned career path."

Bob: "Huh, I never thought of that."

George: "Well, my friend, there you have something to mull over as you go to High Park to do your next round of jogging sessions."

Bob: "Thanks, dude, I will."

George Louis: "You are welcome, my friend. And you, our dear reader: have you thought of your career path yet?"

Bob: "Yeah, reader, have you?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - o o o O O O o o o - - - - - - - - - - - -

Comments are welcome. Pity Comments* are also welcome.



* Pity Comment: a comment that someone posts on someone else's blog (normally a friend or acquaintance) so that the blog owner does not feel no one cares about, or no one reads, the original post. Term coined by ICT Bob, circa 2010.